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Morning Mindset with Paul G. Markel


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Jun 29, 2018

Addressing the struggle between being a kind and generous person and allowing negative people to drag you down to their level. At some point you need to cut off the negative people to maintain a positive way of thinking.


Episode Transcription

[INTRO]

♫ Trenches by Pop Evil ♫

*Alex*

Welcome to Morning Mindset. A daily dose of practical wit and wisdom with a professional educator & trainer, Amazon best selling author, United States Marine, Television and Radio host, Paul G. Markel. Each episode will focus on positive and productive ways to strengthen your mindset, and help you improve your relationships, career goals, and overall well-being. Please welcome your host; Paul G. Markel.


*Professor Paul*

Hello, welcome back, let's get going. Now, as I said during a previous episode, the “Mr. Rogers” episode, just because Morning Mindset is all about positive and productive living. Doesn't mean that I'm always going to be blowing Sunshine up your fanny and talking about unicorns. Sometimes we need to address serious things, sometimes we need to address things that are uncomfortable.

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But you have to do that, if you're going to or you hope to lead a positive and productive life, you can't just ignore the negative things or the bad things. You don't want to get wrapped up in them. But it's not positive, it's not healthy to simply ignore or pretend that the negative does not exist.

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Today we're going to talk about wasting time on people who do not deserve it. Didn't/do not deserve your time and attention, that we're going to have to address the struggle between you being a kind and generous and giving person. You probably, I'm going to assume that the majority of you listening to me consider yourself to be kind people or generous people or giving people, for giving people and forgiveness is, you know Divine and it's a good thing.

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But where do you draw the line between being a good, generous person with your time, and your feelings, to allowing a negative person to drag you down to their level at some point in time. You need to cut off the negative in order to maintain the positive in your life. I was talking to someone recently, and they- it was a friend of mine, and they're talkin about the struggle that they were having because they wanted to genuinely help another person.

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They felt that they could help that person that they could use their time and attention to help this person fix themselves, I guess you could say to help this person improve their life. But the more time that they spent with the what's call them negative person the more that the positive person realized that this person didn't really want to change.

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They wanted attention, they wanted- they wanted to vent. They wanted to tell my friend about all the terrible things that were going on in their life. But they didn't want to take any steps to fix those things. They didn't want to apply Positive Solutions to their problems. They were all wrapped up in the problem.

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It was almost, when I was talking to my friend, was almost as if this person that they wanted the problem, they needed the problem. They needed the problem to be there. So they had something to complain about, and an excuse to not succeed. If you spend too much time, or if you give too much of your attention to that type of person the person who is always negative.

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They never have a good thing to say ever, now I'm not saying- like I said, this isn't Mr. Rogers time. Everything's not always going to be sunshine and rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes there's going to be rain, sometimes there's going to be storms in your life, sometimes you're going to have to deal with problems.

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It doesn't make us happy. We just deal with it and just because you get angry, remember we talked about anger is not a sin doesn't make you a bad person because you get angry. But we can't use anger as a strategy. We can't stay angry all the time. You may have someone in your life that you have attempted to help that you're there for you.

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You lend them an ear when they need it, but after a while you feel drained by that person because every time you talk to them. There's a problem. There's a health problem. There's an emotional problem. Someone did something bad to them. They never ever have anything good to say. Are you going to continue to spend your time trying to fix them when it becomes very obvious or it may be compared obvious that they are not interested in being fixed.

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They're not interested in a different Outlook. All they're interested in is attention gathering and negativity, and if you spend a lot of time with that person you feel drained or you may feel yourself becoming negative as well. You don't want that, you don't need that in your life.  Sometimes you have to cut the cord.

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Sometimes you have to realize that the more time you spend with that person or that group of people, that it's not going to elevate you and it's not bringing you up. It's actually doing the opposite. It’s bringing you down, and you're wasting time on people that don't deserve your time, and once again, I know that someone's going to say “Hey, I thought you're supposed to be a positive guy. You're supposed to be Mr. Positive.”

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I'm also supposed to be Mr. Productive, and you cannot have a healthy, productive life if you waste time on people who don't deserve your time. Who don't appreciate your time. Maybe you've been there for someone, and you're constantly there for someone, and they never appreciate it. They never reciprocate.

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They just take, and take, and take, and never give back. You want to be a kind person, you want to be a generous person. You know, you want to be the person that actually goes out of their way to help others and that's great. That's fantastic. But there comes a time when you need to draw the line and say, “You know what? I've given and I've given, I've tried and I've tried, and this person does has no desire based upon their actions. Has no desire to change and what it's doing to me is it's bringing me down. I'm no longer able to live a fully positive and productive life because now I'm focusing on the negative. I'm spending all this time focusing on, you know, dealing with negative energy don't do it and I can't I can't make the decision for you, but I can tell you that if you're feeling that way you're not alone.”

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A lot of other people are feeling that way as well. All right, ladies and gentlemen, if you'd like to read more from me your host, Paul G Markel, it's really easy. Go to Amazon, type in the words Paul G Markel, and you will find all of my books available in Kindle and paperback versions. Including “Team Honey Badger: Raising Fearless Kids in a Cowardly World” and do I have to remind you that we live in a cowardly world today? I don't think I do. I am your host Paul Markel, and I will talk to you again, real soon.


[OUTRO]

♫ Trenches by Pop Evil ♫

*Alex*

Thank you for spending time with us today. To get show notes, submit a topic request, for more from your host Paul G. Markel, visit MorningMindsetPodcast.com. That’s MorningMindsetPodcast.com. Please leave a review of this podcast on your favorite podcast player, we appreciate your time & effort, and we look forward to reading your honest feedback.