Preview Mode Links will not work in preview mode

Morning Mindset with Paul G. Markel


Welcome to MorningMindsetPodcast.com. If you have a show topic request, please use the email button below to send an email to [email protected]. Put "Topic Request" in the subject line.

Click here for Morning Mindset Merchandise!

Jul 6, 2018

“Well she took a cookie too.” Just because someone else did it, doesn’t mean that you’re allowed to as well. Beware the moral equivalent trap.

If you like the show, please check out our Official Morning Mindset Merchandise!


Episode Transcription

[INTRO]

♫ Trenches by Pop Evil ♫

*Alex*

Welcome to Morning Mindset. A daily dose of practical wit and wisdom with a professional educator & trainer, Amazon best selling author, United States Marine, Television and Radio host, Paul G. Markel. Each episode will focus on positive and productive ways to strengthen your mindset, and help you improve your relationships, career goals, and overall well-being. Please welcome your host; Paul G. Markel.


*Professor Paul*

Hello, welcome back. Thank you, once again for joining me for Morning Mindset. As we progress forward today, we're going to talk about the Moral Equivalent Trap, and you should be aware of that, and you say “Moral equivalent? What's this guy talking about, what's he trying to throw down on me here?

-

Aright, how many of you are parents? You have children, you have small children. Maybe you have siblings, you have a little boy and a little girl or two little boys do little girls or three or whatever and you catch one of your children doing something they shouldn't be doing. Let's say you are a good mom, and you have cookies in the house, but you told your children “You are not allowed to eat any cookies. Until after we have had dinner,, after you eat your dinner, then you can have a cookie.”

-

But you turn your back and you go out of the room and your small child decides that they're going to sneak in, because they think they can get away with stuff, but and they're not smart enough to know that they can't fool mom yet. So you catch them in the act you catch your five-year-old or your six-year-old in the act of stealing a cookie, and you say “What did I tell you? No cookies before dinner.”

-

The first thing out of their mouth is not “Oops, I was wrong or I'm sorry”, it was “Well Jimmy took a cookie yesterday” or” Susie took a cookie yesterday” or whatever. Now that's obviously over simplistic or very simplistic. But the fact is, what that child is doing is, they're trying to deflect their bad behavior or the fact that they're wrong, by drawing a moral equivalent.

-

Like “Well, I mean, yeah, I did that. But you know this person did the same thing”. You say “Yeah, that's because children are childish, and that's what children do”. Ah, but sadly as of late, well, I've been corrected all the time. But recently I saw a couple examples of this and I felt that I needed to to address the Moral Equivalent Trap.

-

Now, you remember before during a recent episode, we talked about the fact that Excuses are Not Reasons, right? We have reasons for why things happened, and then we have excuses. You know a reason, a genuine legit reason for you not being at work on time, is that a car crashed into another car, right in front of you on the 405 or whatever, and the road was blocked and you were stuck, there was nothing you could do about it.

-

That is the reason you were late. Not an Excuse, a Reason. Now the excuse for you being late, is “I was up late last night. I was having a good time, was partying, hit the snooze alarm five times and I didn't make the work on time.” That's not really a reason, that's an excuse, and excuses and reasons are not the same, right? Well often when people are caught, or they are faced with some type of a uh, a hard reality.

-

They're faced with having to deal with. Their own shortcoming or their own failure rather than accept the fact that you're like, “Yep. I did not do what I was supposed to do. I did not achieve what I was supposed to achieve. I fell short of my goal.” Instead, what they will do is they'll draw a moral equivalent, and they will try and say “Well, yeah I didn't, but this other person-” how many times have you encountered that in your own life?

-

Have you ever fallen trap to the moral equivalent excuse? “Well yeah, it may be, but-”, you know, like being late for work. You're late for work, and your boss or your supervisor or whatever calls you out on it, and they say “Hey, that's the third time this month. What's going on?” and you say “Well, you know, Jim was he was late last month too” or “He was late last week” or “He doesn't always come in on time.”

-

So that somehow makes your being late in your being tardy, okay. Now when we look at it from an analytical aspect, like we are now, it seems really childish and immature doesn't it? But we still encounter this continuously. Rather than admit, you know “My culpa, my bad, whatever. I will strive to not let this happen in the future.”

-

We default to this moral equivalent trap or “It's okay for me to take this-” another Moral Equivalent is “It's okay for me to take stuff from work, because I don't feel like I'm being compensated properly. You know I asked for a raise last month, and they said no. So I'm going to take *blank* home from work” and the excuses or the the moral equivalency is “Well, they should have given me a raise and it was not fair that they didn't. so I'm just going ahead take this stuff.”

-

It's all bull crap, you know it and I know it. It's childish, and it's juvenile, and yet we encounter it constantly, don't we? So what I'm gonna say to you is, beware of, if you want to have a positive and productive life. You know, one of the most positive and productive things you can do, is when you make a mistake, when you fall short of your goal, is instead of trying to come up with an excuse or a moral equivalency, what you do instead is you say “I was wrong, I did fail. I did not do what I was supposed to do. I fell short of my goal, and this is what I'm going to do to change that. This is what I'm going to do to make sure that doesn't happen anymore. This is how I'm going to improve”.

-

Because when you make excuses, or when you draw moral equivalence, does that help you grow and improve and become more productive as a person? Or does it just give you quick cover, that just gives you a little bit of cover real quick, and it does nothing but well essentially help you hide from the responsibility.

-

Don't do it. Don't accept it from others Beware of the moral equivalent trap. Alright, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being a part of the Morning Mindset audience. I truly appreciate it, I truly appreciate the fact that many of you out there are sharing this show with other people.

-

That is very cool, that you have left reviews on your favorite podcast app, whatever that happens to be and if you would like, even more in-depth instruction, go to Amazon and pick up the new book “Morning Mindset; A 30 Day Plan to a More Positive and Productive Life.” It's available right now, on Prime shipping. So pick one up today. I'll talk to you again, real soon.


[OUTRO]

♫ Trenches by Pop Evil ♫

*Alex*

Thank you for spending time with us today. To get show notes, submit a topic request, for more from your host Paul G. Markel, visit MorningMindsetPodcast.com. That’s MorningMindsetPodcast.com. Please leave a review of this podcast on your favorite podcast player, we appreciate your time & effort, and we look forward to reading your honest feedback.